The Ugly Ones

The dreaded question: "Tell me about yourself." It happens in job interviews, on dates and sometimes over drinks with that cute stranger you eyed from the other side of the bar. How do you respond? 

I hardly ever have a problem answering this question. On paper, I know exactly who I am. I know how I want to be defined. I have brains, experiences and a passion for who I want to be. I define myself in terms of milestones - look at all the things I have accomplished and want to accomplish; clearly I know what I'm doing. Some people look at me and say, "You have it all figured out." This makes me happy. People perceive me as successful, determined, motivated. 

But that answer - it's just my sales pitch. And it's a good one, yet is it honest? You could say yes. None of it is a lie. Those are my accomplishments and goals and dreams and aspirations. But it's not the whole story. It's only the nice parts. 

The whole story isn't just nice parts. No one wants to define themselves by the negative things, the ugly things, the things that hurt. But those moments are defining. Those ugly parts are just as responsible for making us who we are as the great success stories are. 

Don't be afraid to be ugly and to embrace the ugliness, because it makes you, you. It's in the dark places that we learn the most about ourselves, so long as we confront it and face it head on. I believe in standing up to the things that scare you. Find your voice and use it. When you come out of that dark, ugly place you'll be a better person for it.